The Woke Warriors have a new hero
Or a classic example of why this country is well and truly f***ked…
..and will be doubly so if Labour gets into power.
Yes, the tragic tale of Mr. Ian Clifford, our valiant IT worker, who has suffered the great indignity of receiving a mere £54,000 annually for the arduous task of... not working at all. Since 2008, Clifford has been on a well-deserved sick leave, bravely combating the strain of... well, we're not exactly sure what.
In a move of unparalleled audacity, Clifford has cried foul over his employer, the small, struggling firm known as IBM, for not increasing his salary during his 15-year hiatus from actual work. One must truly marvel at the gall. His pay, he says, is "not generous enough". Truly, it's a heartbreaking scenario, where £54,000 a year for doing absolutely nothing somehow fails to meet the bar of generosity.
Our hero's battle reached a fever pitch at an employment tribunal, where he valiantly argued that his compensation was insufficient and would "wither" over time due to the ferocious beast known as inflation. Ah yes, the cruel fate of stagnant wages while not working, a plight familiar to... well, no one else, really.
In 2013, IBM, in an act of surprising leniency, placed Clifford on a disability plan. A plan that doesn't require him to work, yet still pays him 75% of his agreed earnings until he either recovers, retires, or... you know, doesn't make it. Clifford's agreed salary was £72,037, which means that until the tender age of 65, he will have received more than £1.5 million for his valuable contributions of... well, nil.
And yet, our under-appreciated IT specialist wasn't content. In 2022, he sought to once again face off against IBM at an employment tribunal with new claims of disability discrimination, citing the shocking lack of salary increases and holiday entitlements during his 15-year holiday.
Alas, his pleas fell on deaf ears. Employment Judge Paul Housego, clearly lacking the refined sense of justice necessary to grasp Clifford's struggle, dismissed his case. A tragic end to a saga of indomitable courage and unparalleled entitlement.