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What’s wrong with this place?

Ratsima · 22 · 781

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Online Ratsima

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I just got back from Cha Am. I met more people in a week there than I met in Korat all last year.

It astounds me how easy it is to meet people elsewhere and how impossible it is here.



Online Roger

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Two solutions M8 - IMHO either change your situation or stop moaning and make the best of Korat  ;)

Korat is OK - make effort in Korat or move to Cha am and see Wifey at weekends (if her job is all important).

I lived in Cha am for 6 months and IMHO it's nowhere near offering the fun or possible friends in Korat. Apart from Wednesday night market - Cha am is just tourist restaurants and seedy.

At Cha am, I used to sea swim, ride the bike up the coast, fish, swim at home too and have some fun. But give me Korat anytime.  8)  Maybe Korat is just not the place for you ?

Sorry for an outspoken reply  ;)




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Online caller

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Korat is OK - make effort in Korat or move to Cha am and see Wifey at weekends (if her job is all important).

Cha am is just tourist restaurants and seedy

I pretty much meet up with my other half at weekends and have time to myself at other times. Although, we have longer get togethers like now. I came to Bkk on the 21st December, then spent time in Khon Kaen and Siem Reap before heading back here on the 30th. I will head back to Hua Hin on the 7th.

Cha am seedy? You should have ventured further than Soi bus station or whatever it's called!  ;D


Online Roger

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Caller yes, 'Soi Bus' apart, maybe 'seedy' IS a bit hard on Cha am . . but I do remember bar after empty bar during it's mainly quiet times and very little going on apart from wandering bored looking tourists. The long term Guys have darts and pool matches arranged and so on and Wednesday at Night Market is very social. Cha am has a lot of Norwegians if I remember so no lack of Company with your drinking boots on. Soi Bus - spent an hour there once playing pool . . .

Korat's fine for me - far more resident falang IF you get out, less tourists and plenty to do away from the sea. And if you play Golf - ideal !

I hardly know Hua Hin at all but by all accounts, there's more to do. Your 'set up' sounds great - I wish my wife had full time work - that enables a life with more variation  ;)  For Falangs retiring after a full working life, it's hard being around home 24/7 instead of 24/2  ;)  Happily My Missis sells at Market 2/3 pm's and she is also OK with me bolting to Korat for a few days - that breaks life up a bit.

Ratsima - after living on Saipan so long, I guess you feel strange without the sea closeby. Maybe a community like that is quite special even given it's drawbacks. I hope you can get more out of 2019 one way or another  :) If I was you, I'd have a long chat to the Missis and arrange some sort of dual location living - how lucky you are to have a Condo ready in Cha am ! ATB
''If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough'' - Albert Einstein


Offline happylarry

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Roger, you have summed things up very well in your second post......BUT if you are not a piss head and you dont play golf then the social life in Korat is very restricted and Ratsima is correct, it is very difficult to meet people here unless in a bar.
Also in a tourist area people are more often than not holidaying and therefore have the time and inclination to converse, whereas in Korat people are out for a reason whether it be going to work or shopping etc. Also if you are generally a bit shy and find it difficult talking to strangers, as I am, then that just makes it more unlikely to start conversations.
HL


Online Roger

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Rats sorry - we are talking about you, but also I suppose, it's to you, at the same time. No discourtesy intended.

HL - Rats likes a chat over a couple of beers, (if I remember rightly from his posts), early evening. It seems he needs a Songthau, TukTuk to get to any Bar which is a little inconvenient but surmountable. I guess he's doesn't play golf. Some have offered to meet and chat so it's up to him now.

If you are a bit shy, (as am I too), some effort has to be made. When I was in Korat, I made some friends in the Korat Resort and in neighbouring Saudio and in Korat originally, meeting a range of characters over coffee at the then Chaophraya Hotel in the mornings. Some are still good friends 8 years later, but evenso, sometimes it can be lonely living 'abroad' - it's part of the price. And that's true in Korat, Cha am or Chantaburi  ::)  Maybe more true in Korat ?

HL you mention 'piss heads'  :o  I'm sure I've never met any in Korat  ;)
''If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough'' - Albert Einstein


Online Ratsima

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During my week+ in Cha Am I had pleasant conversations with:

  • A German guy who does bicycle tours for Europeans
  • An American who was interested in my bicycle and very proud of his folding cycle
  • The Thai owner of a hotel/restaurant regarding development near her property
  • A South African guy who was interested in what the DLPW officials were doing at the Cha Am harbor
  • A recently retired Canadian who is planning to retire to Thailand
  • A Thai barista at a hotel coffee shop

When is the last time I had an interesting conversation in Korat with someone other than my wife? Well, so long ago that I can't remember.

I know Korat has thousands of expats and probably many more than Cha Am. But, where are they? I go out for coffee six days a week, shopping almost every day and out for lunch several times a week. I never see other farang. And, it's not like I'm out in the boonies. I live about 4K from The Mall and across the highway from Save One. But, if I took a video of all my outings, you'd be hard pressed to spot a farang anywhere.

And, as I've noted, it didn't used to be that way. I used to have lunch every week or so with a great group of farang at the Pasinee restaurant. The Walrus, PB and Eddie Vegas were all places where you could chat with other expats over a happy hour beer. The Hash used to be a place to meet other expats until the clique that ran it killed it.

Sorry, but Korat has become a very strange place. It's the loneliest most unfriendly place I've ever lived.

Finally, and just to cover that base, I have tried staying in Cha Am on my own without my wife. It ain't that much fun to live alone. Even though the days are full; coming home to an empty condo is just not my cup of tea.

I guess I'm doomed. I promise not to post about it any more.


Online Roger

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Rats, the doom is a choice - you have options.
Robert, good post. Chester's ? Is that in the Mall ?
Anyway - enjoy what you can in Korat everybody - I'm doomed in Chantaburi which IS far from perfect but I do get by . .

Sometimes it can be lonely living 'abroad' - it's part of the price  ;)
''If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough'' - Albert Einstein


Online caller

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This morning around 10.00 o'clock we were with 7 Dutch guys in Chester's solving all the problems in the world. Few tables further 4 English guys, at another table 3 Italians. Also Swiss and Germans gather at this place. Lots of foreigners strolling by some I know.

I think you have provided an answer that get's as much to the heart of the problem of Korat, as it does in providing a solution for some.

I don't know what it is like now, as I moved pre T21 and Central, but the fact The Mall was a de-facto centre of where everything happens is what started driving me nuts! I honestly couldn't think of other places to go and it got to the stage that I hated going there (probably worse for me as my other half worked there and there was always something she had to 'pop-in' to do as we drove around).

Robert, I assume you meet there for a few reasons - central for your spread out friends, ease of parking, places to use for coffee or whatever when there and generally clean, including the loos? And the only alternatives I guess, are other Malls?

It's a pity the bar in the basement closed, as there aren't many other options now.


Online Ratsima

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A person has to go out if you want to meet and speak with other persons.

I do go out; usually several times a day. I go out for coffee six days a week. I go shopping almost every day. I go out for lunch several times a week. I never meet or speak with anyone. I never see other farang.

Let's consider my moo ban. There are about thirty homes, five of which have foreigners. Aside from me, there are:

  • A Danish guy with whom I speak now and then. But he's been in Korat a lot longer than I. He seems to spend most of his time with fellow Danes.
  • A British guy who is older than I and not in good health. He rarely leaves his house. We have brief chats now and then, but all he wants to talk about are his medical problems. Any attempt to change the subject fails.
  • An American guy who has lived here about the same length of time as I; ten years. I have seen him exactly twice. Once when he was mowing his lawn and once when he and his wife walked their newborn in a stroller around the neighborhood. That's right. In ten years I have seen him exactly twice.
  • An Irish guy who I can recognize only because he was pointed out to me by my wife when he was at The Mall. I have never seen him in the neighborhood or in his yard. Apparently he golfs a lot. I do know his wife because I buy noodles from her from time to time. But the guy? In ten years I haven't seen him even once. Amazing.

But I feel this is typical of the Korat farang. They hide out in their homes and when they leave it is in vehicles with darkly tinted windows. They want no contact. They have their habitual gathering places (Chester's) and activities (Golf).

On the other hand, I am very open and visible. I don't have a car, so all my outings are by bicycle; my face exposed to the world, not hiding behind tinted glass. I spend lots of time working in the garden, highly visible. Every night my wife and have happy hour and dinner out on our porch, for all the world to see.

So, yeah, I do go out and I'm highly visible. But I seem to be living in a town where most people prefer to be invisible.


Offline happylarry

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A person has to go out if you want to meet and speak with other persons.

I do go out; usually several times a day. I go out for coffee six days a week. I go shopping almost every day. I go out for lunch several times a week. I never meet or speak with anyone. I never see other farang.


But I feel this is typical of the Korat farang. They hide out in their homes and when they leave it is in vehicles with darkly tinted windows. They want no contact. They have their habitual gathering places (Chester's) and activities (Golf).

On the other hand, I am very open and visible. I don't have a car, so all my outings are by bicycle; my face exposed to the world, not hiding behind tinted glass. I spend lots of time working in the garden, highly visible. Every night my wife and have happy hour and dinner out on our porch, for all the world to see.

So, yeah, I do go out and I'm highly visible. But I seem to be living in a town where most people prefer to be invisible.

1. I never see other farang. Sorry Ratsima but I think you have to see an Optometrist because i see many foreigners  8).
2. But I feel this is typical of the Korat farang. They hide out in their homes and when they leave it is in vehicles with darkly tinted windows. They want no contact. They have their habitual gathering places (Chester's) and activities (Golf). Must be assumption because you never see foreigners  ;D. You are correct about tinted glass in cars allthough I am not hiding behind them but keeping the heat out as I am living in the tropics  ;D. I do not play golf, unfortunately too old now for playing football.
3. I "offered" to meet somewhere in person but you declined. Is it because you are a little bit shy or  was it something else? We could also speak through Skype if you would like to know if I am not a creepy person, haha.

Anyway like I wrote before, for me no issue to talk to others. If I see a foreigner looking for something I sometimes say: can you find what you need? Next questions mostly: where are you from so I can adjust my lamguage if I speak his/her language. If he/she is open for conversation easy to continue viz. do you live here or are you on holiday? Etc. etc. not so difficult at all.

Robert

Robert, Roger and others, you really need to realise that people are not made the same, have different personalities, different likes and dislikes and different fears. You say its no issue for you to talk to others, but that is you........
You end by saying its not so difficult at all, but once again that is you and you are not making allowances for others who do find it difficult.
It annoys me greatly when people who have the ability to learn to speak Thai then say to others its easy why dont you learn......I have tried, I have been to school three times for Thai but to no avail, but people just dont accept that others are not able to do it. Its the same with this thread, you guys are simply not listening and accepting that others find it difficult. Going back to the original post, Ratsima did not “moan” about Korat but simply made the observation about the people here compared to Cha Am. I too find it difficult to interact with people I do not know. If for instance I am walking through the Mall and another farang is walking towards me then I tend to look the other way. If the guy says hello then I would respond and then carry on but not stay and talk.
Thats just me, on the other hand when I am with someone I know then I dont stop talking.
Please make allowances for peoples different traits and not expect someone to change their characteristicks and habits at their presumably ripe old age.
For interest, I too have invited Ratsima to my house for coffee but because we are on opposite sides of the city he also declined.
At the risk of getting laughed at may I suggest a meeting of the few on here conversing on this subject at somewhere that is accessible for Ratsima’s bike and we can carry on in person. What do you think?
HL


Offline happylarry

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Robert, please forgive me but I dont remember although I probably would if I met you again...lol
Anyway was I any help at the time?
Please also take it as a compliment when I say that I would not have known English was not your first language, apart from a couple of spellings it is excellent and fooled me.
Also I am generally generalising so dont take my comments personally and dont stop commenting on my account.....lol
HL


Online Roger

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HL - IMHO best words so far on this thread . . .

''I suggest a meeting of the few on here conversing on this subject at somewhere that is accessible for Ratsima’s bike and we can carry on in person.''

Rats - about the Guys around your location - I've the same problem here. Some Falang just don't care to be with other Falang or don't have a conducive situation. End of.

Robert - brilliant posts in a second language, brilliant in a first  ;)
''I always look and either nod or say good morning or good day.''
Spot on.

Caller - two locations is ideal - variety being the spice of life. (I travelled every week when working and retirement on it's own ain't easy.)

HL - ''If for instance I am walking through the Mall and another farang is walking towards me then I tend to look the other way..'' Yes we ARE all different - I always try to engage but some Falang are looking away as soon as they spot another 8) In which case i don't bother - otherwise I always smile or nod or speak. Remember they are maybe shy too.

When Falang blank me out like that, I sometimes wonder if they are shocked that there is someone else brave enough for this adventure  8)

Shy - this is a Guy (as a child) that would hide behind the sofa when someone visited the house. But I did move on.

We have options.
''If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough'' - Albert Einstein


Offline happylarry

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Not wishing to start this thread up again but just wanted to highlight the fact that not one “sociable” person on here wanted to meet each other after I proposed the idea......oh well, not so sociable after all......lol
HL


Online Robert

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Not wishing to start this thread up again but just wanted to highlight the fact that not one “sociable” person on here wanted to meet each other after I proposed the idea......oh well, not so sociable after all......lol
HL

Sorry HL but I already tried to do this person to person and also not worked. I think I am very sociable with other persons but it has to come from both sides. By-the-way I removed all my posts already in this topic to avoid being misinterpreted.


Online caller

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By-the-way I removed all my posts already in this topic to avoid being misinterpreted.

I noticed that and sadly, it now makes a mockery of this thread.

Most other forums now have a time limit for editing, after which no changes can be made, to stop this happening, as it just devalues the benefit of the forum.


Online Robert

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By-the-way I removed all my posts already in this topic to avoid being misinterpreted.

I noticed that and sadly, it now makes a mockery of this thread.

Most other forums now have a time limit for editing, after which no changes can be made, to stop this happening, as it just devalues the benefit of the forum.

Maybe Admin can re-install my answer again for this once? For the future I will keep my opinion more to myself as being 72 no need anymore to share.


Online Roger

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Robert - Rats started this chat and it was thought provoking. You contributed helpfully and I don't know why you decided to delete your posts which were all interesting. Don't worry :(  and I hope you keep sharing your views on here - not too many do  8)
''If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough'' - Albert Einstein


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By-the-way I removed all my posts already in this topic to avoid being misinterpreted.

I noticed that and sadly, it now makes a mockery of this thread.

Most other forums now have a time limit for editing, after which no changes can be made, to stop this happening, as it just devalues the benefit of the forum.

Maybe Admin can re-install my answer again for this once? For the future I will keep my opinion more to myself as being 72 no need anymore to share.

Until recently the forum settings did limit the time period within which any changes could be made. I was asked to change this, and did so - with such a small number of members it was intended as a courtesy to allow people to correct spelling and grammar (but not so a post could be modified to twist the context of subsequent replies as might happen on, for example, a bad-tempered gaming forum where people abuse each other. K-Fers are not that kind of people).

It is useful that this has happened as it highlights the downside to allowing greater editing freedom and the impact upon a thread if entire posts are removed. Please don't feel bad Robert! You had the best of intentions and simply did not want to offend anyone.

I am not sure if it is possible to reinstate deleted posts but I will check. In the meantime, it would be useful to hear opinions on allowing editing. As Admin I have the ability to modify posts at any time and would always accommodate anyone who made an error and wanted it corrected. Is giving everyone the ability to modify their posts a step too far?


Online dam12641

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Admin, go for it.
I appreciated Robert's posts.

And his 'indifference' to them later? No, he should be proud that he can communicate in another language so eloquently.

Robert, come on!? Be proud of your linguistic abilities, all us mono-Anglophones are jealous.

Dale